ST BARNABAS ANGLICAN CHURCH - BLUFF, DURBAN
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Co-habitation versus Christian Marrriage

11/6/2012

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Should baptised and born again Christians co-habit? In world today it is increasingly becoming
the norm. That couples will co-habit with the hope of getting married later.
That is fair and fine if one is not a Christian because one is clearly using
different standards. These are called world standards. Not Standards set by God.
In the Old Testament God intend that human kind should be in a community of
married people to reproduce and be lifelong companions. (Genesis 1: 26-28 and
Genesis 2: 18-24) Marriage is a relationship defined by God. It is this first
community to children are meant to be born and raised. Sex takes place within
this community and not outside it. For sex is gift from God meant to be enjoyed
  within the realm of marriage, for this allows the couple to grow together in
  love. Unfortunately sex has been taken out the realm of marriage and with
terrible consequences. We have children being born out wedlock, adding to a
  dysfunctional world. We have one too many sex partners that when we do get
married the memories of those partners stays like bad odour to the determent of
the marriage.  This messes our relationships and marriages suffer. So the rule of staying chaste before
marriage makes sense in the view of the devastation left behind by the mentality
of the 1960s and 1970s- the flower generation that it was okay to have sex with
all in sundry. Co-habitation is not the will and plan of God for it goes against
the whole idea of marriage and the place of sex.  This is not a negotiable. We may do it
because will feel it is our right, but as we exercise this perceived right, we
are going against God. Christians
who are co-habituating are condemned by God. Unless these repent and confess
they sins and promise God to make things right by getting married. Again this
not negotiable. The Gospel of God always cuts deep. It has no favours. If we are
living in sin we are called to repent and make a u turn in our lives. This does
not only apply to sex out marriage but to other spheres of human life. God has
set the standards of how we should conduct our lives. God’s standards promote
life and wellbeing; world standards promote self-indulgence which in some cases
leads us to break the laws and commandments of God. God has set the standards
and so far Christians have struggled to live up to them, opting to hide behind
the false vale that it is my right. Sex outside marriage is not a negotiable and
all those who have sinned against God should repent, that is the Gospel of Jesus
Christ. It cuts very deep. Otherwise the Gospel has no relevance in our lives if
it is not promoting healthy relationships with God and the rest of humanity. We
stand to be condemned if we do not repent from the errors of our ways. The Gospel of Christ invites us to
repent and believe in the Good News so that we do not remain condemned. So
REPENT today for tomorrow may never come. We do well to remember that the Church
is not a social Club; the Church exists to extend the Kingdom of God, within our
lives and on earth. That every knee will bow at the name of Jesus Christ. So in
a nut shell it is wrong to co-habit and to have sex outside marriage. We risk
losing the Holy Spirit who is within us if we continue with the errors of our
ways. So we may continue to worship God, but the Spirit of God has departed.
Just like King Saul stayed on as the King of Israel but the Spirit of God had
departed.


Fr. Barnabas
Nqindi

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    My name is Barnabas Sibusiso Nqindi, rector of St Barnabas-Bluff. I enjoy a good debate and I love to see people grow in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ

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  • Home
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